Why Do You Care?

I know this is coming out off schedule, but I have a good reason…of course 🙂 I was going to hold on to this one until the appointed time, but as I was writing it, Alayna’s moments became more and more vulnerable, and this whole thing got more and more tender. I said to myself, “Hmmm…this would make a great mother’s day edition!” So…here you have it, folks! Enjoy!

After Devan’s last correspondence with his favorite pen pal, to say that he was excited to hear from her again would be an understatement. Several times a day he checked his email hoping to see the new message indicator next to her name. He waited for what felt like months, but was really just a few weeks before he finally heard back from her. Here is what she said:

 

Hello Mr.Guru!

I have to admit, I was really excited when I received your email reply! It brought some happiness to my world on this saddening day. Yesterday, Grim came to our house and said that Dad has one day left after he had a close call with death and a 1×1 pool. Although it’s very sad, your happiness brings a huge smile to my face. 

I’ll be sure to send you some music soon, I’ve been working on a brand new composition lately and I think you’ll really like it. I love the fact that you’re interested in computers since I’m a bit of a whiz myself, but Programming isn’t my thing and you’re in a job know which sounds awesome!

Soon, I’m not sure where I’m heading but I know that no one will ever be able to see me again. Unless I come up with a plan soon, which I do because I know I’ll miss a specific handsome guy who writes emails to me. Take care, handsome man.

– Leliana

“Wait…what??”

Devan was confused by the bomb she dropped at the end and needed to read it all again. Maybe he misunderstood something. He read it again aloud.

“Hello Mr.Guru! I have to admit, I was really excited when I received your email reply! Yeah, I’m sure you were! It brought some happiness to my world on this saddening day. Yesterday, Grim came to our house and said that Dad has one day left after he had a close call with death and a 1×1 pool. Although it’s very sad, your happiness brings a huge smile to my face. Dag…that’s terrible! Her dad is going to die? I hope she’s all right. I’ll be sure to send you some music soon, I’ve been working on a brand new composition lately and I think you’ll really like it. Sweeeeet. I love the fact that you’re interested in computers since I’m a bit of a whiz myself, but Programming isn’t my thing and you’re in a job know which sounds awesome! He he he, it takes one to know one, girl! You know what’s up! Soon, I’m not sure where I’m heading but I know that no one will ever be able to see me again. But…why?? Where are you going? Unless I come up with a plan soon, which I do because I know I’ll miss a specific handsome guy who writes emails to me. Take care, handsome man. Leliana

“But, what is she…why…what in the world is going on here?!

“Where could she possibly go that doesn’t have the Internet? Outer space?? Why can’t she email me anymore???”

Devan reread the email dozens of times, retracing his steps and making sure he didn’t miss anything. But, each time, he read the same words. Each time, they taunted him. Each time, she was saying goodbye to him–potentially. And each time, he was upset.

Why do you care, Devan, he asked himself. I mean…what do I really know about this girl? I know how the Internet works…for all I know she could be some 40-year-old, 800 pound llama living in his parent’s basement writing to me in his pajamas, eating chips, and passing gas! But…I know she’s real. I know she is! I know she’s real because I feel…I feel…

“MAMA,” he yelled as loud as he could.

He wasn’t quite sure what he was feeling, and Alayna was the only one who could help him sort his feelings out. She must have been nearby because she heard him and replied.

“YES?”

“COME DOWN HERE, PLEASE!”

He wasn’t crying, but there was something in his voice that concerned her. She dropped whatever she was doing and came to his rescue. She never liked to see her children in peril, but this was the part of motherhood she enjoyed the most. She liked being the supermom who swooped in to save the day.

“What’s the matter, Devan? Are you sick?”

“I’m not sick. I just…I don’t know what to do! She said she might not be able to write to me anymore! What the heck?”

“Whoa, whoa…what? Who?”

“Leliana!”

“Oh,” she said unenthusiastically. “This is about a girl.”

“Mama…why do you always do that? What is it with you with me and girls?”

“Let’s go sit down and talk, ok?”

Devan got up and followed her to the sofa. She took a few seconds to admire him before she spoke. It was like she was trying to see him as he was–a grown Sim–while her brain kept trying to make him her little boy again.

“Ok…so, what’s going on?”

“Leliana, my pen pal…one of my pen pals, says she might not be able to write to me anymore. She said she’s going somewhere soon, and she’ll never be able to see anyone again! I have no idea where she could possibly go like that. I don’t like that we might not be able to communicate.”

“I see. Ok…I’m going to ask you a question, but I don’t want you to get mad. Just think about it, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Why do you care? I mean, you have pen pals that you don’t talk to anymore, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, so, why do you care so much about this one? Do you like her?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I never liked anyone before.”

“It sounds like you like her. Why else would you care so much? What else did she say?”

“She said that her father almost died, and the grim reaper only gave him one extra day. That’s so sad! I hope she’s gonna be ok. I know I…” he trailed off.

He couldn’t finish that sentence. He wasn’t ready to even begin thinking about his parents dying, but the fact of the matter is, if they hadn’t taken the youth potion, their life meters would be twinkling as we speak.

He continued, “Is it possible to like someone you don’t know? This is only my second email to her! How could I like her?”

“Well, Devan…sometimes things just work out that way. We can’t explain everything that happens in this world.”

“Do you think it would be ok if I tried to meet her? She said she lives around here.”

“Is that wise? I mean…you said so yourself:  you don’t know her. Heh, you don’t even know if she is really a she! You know how folks do online these days.”

“I know, mama. But, I know she’s not lying. I don’t know how I know, but I know.”

“Devan…you’re grown. You do whatever you feel is right. I just hope that you’ll be careful. Meet in a public place to be safe.”

“I don’t even know if I’ll be able to see her.”

Alayna looked at him with longing eyes. She wanted to stop time and prevent him from growing any older and experiencing any pain, but that would be selfish. This was happening whether she wanted it to or not. His life rested in the palms of her hand, but her hands were always clasped together, keeping him inside of a cage. She knew she needed to open her palms and let him fly free, like a butterfly, but she still couldn’t do it. He was making his own escape route through the cracks where her fingers met.

“Are you crying, mama?”

“Of course I’m not crying! It’s really dusty down here. Don’t you ever clean?”

“Whatever, mama. You can cry. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Puh! I’ll believe that when llamas fly.”

“Why do you get all crazy when you think about me and girls?”

“[sigh] You’re not a parent. You can’t understand.”

“That’s a cop-out answer, mama…”

“I just don’t want you to…I mean…I’m not ready for you to grow up.”

“I’m already grown, mama.”

“I know! And when you talk about girls, it’s like another reminder. Next thing you know, you’ll have a girlfriend, and then you’ll marry her, and then you’ll move away, and then I’ll be old and–”

“Mama! Stop living in the future! Enjoy right now. I’m still here! I’m not going anywhere right now. The way you carry on you’d think I was an only child!”

“But, you’re my first child. I wasn’t a mother until I had you! Everything with you is always an adventure because it’s always new. I don’t know what it’s like to be without you. I know that one day your father and I will be old and will be living in this house alone. As much as I love your father and love to be with him…I’m not quite ready to not have children to look after.”

“Good thing you decided to have more kids, eh?”

“Your father decided to have another baby. Children were NOT in the plan! But, yes…I am grateful for Ci Ci and Sydney…even though sometimes I’d like to send Sydney back.”

“I love you, mama. You’re the best mother in the world.”

“Devan! You’re trying to make me cry for real!”

“Hey…it’s the truth! You deserve to know that.”

“My. That’s good to hear. Sometimes I have no clue what I’m doing, and I think I’m screwing you guys up! Thank you, son. Ugh! What are we going to do with you? You’re gonna sweet talk your way into some girl’s heart one day.”

“Present tense, mama. Present tense.”

“It is against a mother’s nature to not think about the future, but…I’ll try. Is work going ok?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Good. Ok…I’ll get outta here and let you get back to writing to your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Whatever,” she said as she walked up the steps.

Devan got up and went back to the computer. He was now able to think rationally and respond appropriately.

Dear Leliana,

I am very sorry to hear about your father. By the time you see this, it may be too late. I hope that you are doing well with it. Just know that my thoughts are with you, and you have my deepest sympathies.

You know…hearing about your father made me realize some things about my own parents. If they had not taken the Potion of Youth, I think you and I would be experiencing the exact same thing right now! I shudder to think about it. I told my mom how special she is. I’ll have to talk to my dad too. 

Ok…I have to be honest with you right now. I was upset to learn that we may not be able to communicate anymore. Why? I know you said you don’t know where you’re going, but…I don’t know. I hope that’s not code for…something terrible! I hope whatever plan you come up with will work. I would hate to never hear from you again. Can I help at all? Do you think this would be a good time for us to meet? I would totally understand if you don’t think so. I’ve never met anyone from the Internet either. I could be a 40-year-old, 800 pound llama…or YOU could be! :-p I’m sure you’re who you say you are, and I hope you believe I am who I am too. 

I hope to see your beautiful face soon. But, if you do disappear, and I never hear from you again, remember that we will always be friends in my dreams. Take care!

– Devan

Happy mother’s day to all you beautiful moms and moms-to-be out there! I hope your children shower you with love and honor you the way you deserve to be honored. They say that motherhood is the hardest job you’ll ever love…or something like that. Although it’s near impossible, I hope you have a day off today. Hopefully Alayna and Devan were able to capture just a glimpse of the kinds of things you go through. Take care! More Pruetts tomorrow!!