Welcome to the Kingdom

Y’all know I don’t run for anything. But, I was sure running after my wife when we got to the hospital; good thing I haven’t picked up much weight yet! I was out tending the garden when I heard her screaming inside. I dropped the water can and ran inside after her, and I’ve been running ever since.

When we got to the delivery room, Leliana got up on the operating table and lay down. Then that machine closed in on her so fast, it looked like it was eating her or something! I know I’m usually a self-assured type of dude, but that thing scared me. Could a brother get a warning or something?

I think the doctor was laughing at me. He finally introduced himself and assured me that everything was fine and my wife wouldn’t feel a thing.

Yeah right. My wife was fine until the machine’s arms decided to wrestle each other!

Dude had the nerve to call for “back up,” like I was a threat or something. There is no way I am leaving my wife’s side!

Finally that quack doctor got control of the machine and got my baby out with a quickness. You should have seen the look on Leliana’s face when she heard our baby cry for the first time. She was so beautiful. I mean, she’s always beautiful, but at that moment she was like…angelic! She kept craning her neck trying to see the baby and asked me what it was. It was a girl. A beautiful little girl.

She was very excited. “A daughter?? WE HAVE A DAUGHTER!” She practically leaped out of that machine when the doctor finally let her out. She scooped up the baby faster than he could say “congratulations.”

“Hello there, sweet princess! We need to give her a good name, Devan!”

I was so happy, but I was a little sad too. All I wanted to do was call mama and tell her the news…

“OH,” she shouted. “Because we are both creative, and we share a deep appreciation for music, we should name her something musical…like, Melody!”

“I think we had one of those.”

“Oh. What about Cadence?”

“Melody’s twin.”

“Carol?”

“Too grandma-ish.”

“Lyric?”

“Meh.”

“Carillon?”

“Cara-what?”

Leliana paused to think of more names while I was being put under a spell by my little girl. She was the most adorable thing ever. She was smiling and shrieking and giggling up a storm.

“I GOT IT,” Leliana yelled. “ARIA!!”

“Aria?”

“Aria!”

“Hmmm…that’s kinda cute,” I said. “I think I like it! And I can call her Ari for short.”

She snuggled Ari close and looked into her little eyes. “Welcome to the kingdom, sweet Aria!”

Leliana put Ari down so she could be transported home safely, and we were left there with the doctor and his “back up.” Leliana was overjoyed, but I don’t know what the other dude was excited about. He could have left long time ago.

Seriously, dude! Go away!