Juliana – Chapter 78 Rebecca

Time in Willow Creek: 1 year, 3 months, 2 weeks

Juliana and Rebecca had been working like mules all morning to prepare for Hillary’s baby shower, carting chairs and tables around the yard and washing them down; blowing up balloons and cutting ribbon, placing them throughout the yard; preparing cucumber sandwiches. Rebecca hired a caterer but insisted on preparing the sandwiches. “You never know what these people might make, and a baby shower is not a baby shower without cucumber sandwiches,” she insisted.

After all the work was done, they showered, changed clothes, and took a breather in the kitchen before the appointed time. It felt odd to make such a fuss for just the family, but she wanted her sister to have that experience of feeling pampered and loved. She felt every woman should feel that way while she’s pregnant, but Hillary had gotten the short end of the stick in that department.

The caterer arrived while the ladies were getting ready. Rebecca was glad to see progress still happening in her absence. After greeting the woman, she sat in front of Juliana at the island and exhaled deeply–probably for the first time all day.

“Well, if I may so, I think we outdid ourselves, Juliana.”

She grinned.

“So… Are you seeing anyone? Namely that tall drink of water you’re always with?” She elbowed Juliana in the shoulder.

She blushed. “No.”

Rebecca cocked her head to the side. “Really? You’re not interested?”

“I am, but…”

Rebecca leaned in to hear what the big but was. She didn’t know Juliana very well, but she heard about how much time they spent together and how they look at each other. Unless he was a criminal, gay, or married, she too could not understand why they weren’t together.

“…it’s not the right time,” Juliana said.

Those words impacted her a great deal. Rebecca never knew how mature Juliana was until that moment. That was perhaps the best answer she could have given her.

“Hmph. Well, that certainly is mature, Juliana.”

Rebecca felt strange. She was decades older than her, but somehow she felt like Juliana had bested her some kind of way. But, not in a bad way. She felt honored to know there was someone out there who was thinking before she acted.

“There’s a lot to be said for waiting…”

She thought about the women in her life, and even herself, and how impatience affected their lives. That terrifying day she discovered her daughter was sexually active at just 14 years old came to mind. Shame. That’s what she felt when she spoke to her doctor about getting birth control for her young teen. She blamed herself for she hadn’t been that patient when she was young. Her own impatience led to the girl’s father not being in her life since she was a tiny thing, and she’d had three step fathers since.

Rebecca began dating at 16 which was quite normal and expected. Stanley Reeves was his name. Harold loved him. “Manly Stanley” is what he called him. He gave him permission to marry her early in their relationship although they were too young to need it. Blake died when she was 17, and suddenly her parents weren’t fit to support her like they used to. It was the most inopportune time in a girl’s life not to have the kind of emotional support she needed. She turned to Stanley. Despite how honorable he had been, their relationship escalated a lot quicker than it needed to.

“I got married right after high school,” she said with a far away look. “Looking back, I see that we were very hasty. I wanted to go to school and be the first person in our family with a degree, heh. I wanted to do many things, but Stanley, my husband, he was very traditional and didn’t want me to work. I was supposed to stay home and raise babies. Problem was we were broke and weren’t gonna have any babies for a while, so I convinced him to let me get a job.”

Juliana looked very interested in the story despite being distracted by the noise the caterer was making.

“I worked as a secretary in a small office. I worked very hard.” She held her head up high. “If I wasn’t able to go to school to get to the top, then I had to do it myself.”

It was long ago, but she was still very proud of the work she put in at the early stages of her career.

“It took some time, but I worked my way up. We had Sloane by then, and I got another job at a bigger company. Stanley was already pulling away from me.”

She lowered her face. At times she was still penitent about putting her own ambition before her family. She didn’t regret the results–apart from the divorce–but if she had to do things over, perhaps she would have done things differently.

“I didn’t see it then. I was blindsided when he told me he wanted a divorce. I was devastated. I loved him, and he hurt me.”

In the background, Harriett and Harold arrived. She could hear her mother’s high-pitched voice all the way inside.

“I know I hurt him too, but I didn’t understand at the time. It changed me. I got really cynical. I wasn’t going to allow anyone to hurt me like that again. I vowed I would never fall in love, but I still wanted companionship and someone to help raise my daughter. The next time I got married, it was more like a business arrangement. I had an associate at another firm. I liked him enough, I guess. We were married for three years, had one son, and then it was over. He was getting more attached than I liked, so I cut him loose.” She often regretted that decision because it was incredibly selfish, but she never found the courage to apologize to the man.

Juliana’s face melted like she was watching cute puppies drown or something.

“The next husband was a family friend. Ugh…that one should have never happened.” She couldn’t stop shaking her head. “It was more like a dare. I suppose I had gotten the reputation as like man-eater or something, and this family friend thought he could change that. I knew he couldn’t, but I think deep down I wanted him to. I had a wall up, and I was getting tired of being guarded. I was open to the idea of someone coming along and smashing it down, so I went with it. I didn’t want to have more children, though. Especially not with him. But, shortly after the honeymoon, I discovered I was pregnant with Jake. I tried to ignore my feelings and make it work for the sake of the baby, but he and I were just not compatible as husband and wife. Jake was just three months old when I ended it.”

A hopeless groan escaped Juliana’s lips. Rebecca wondered what she was thinking about her.

“I didn’t want to keep running from marriage to marriage, dragging my children with me. And I was tired, so I got help. You know the woman Hillary talks to. I didn’t see anyone for a long time and things were looking up. I decided I needed to take the same approach I had when I first got my job. I had to make it happen and work hard.”

“I stopped trying to find a father for my children and focused on them. I was very successful by then. I bought this house,” she said with her nose pointed toward the ceiling. “I didn’t need to scrape and claw as much as I did previously, so I had time to spend with them. Years later, I ran into Jack in a department store. He was a stranger to me, but he made me laugh. I ran into him again at the park with my children. We spoke again, and I thought he was handsome and well dressed. Terribly young though. He gave me his number and said to call him.” A small, nostalgic smile eased across her face at the memory.

“I was hesitant. I didn’t want to ruin another man’s life, but I did need a friend, so I called. That’s exactly what we were for a long time. We went places together, he watched my children, I confided in him. He was my best friend. After more than a year being friends, he wanted to explore a dating relationship. I was still hesitant and was talking to the therapist more than ever, but she encouraged me to give him a chance, and… Well, here we are nine years later.”

After the epic tale, she became aware of how long she had been going on and the caterer who was also listening. She felt embarrassed like she was naked in front of a crowd. “Gosh…I really don’t know why I told you all of that, Juliana!” She hoped her cheeks weren’t getting red. Shaking off the sensation, she brought the conversation back to the center. “What I originally wanted to say was it’s good to know what you want and wait for it because when you don’t, your entire life is affected by it.”

Hillary waddled in the kitchen just as Rebecca was giving Juliana her advice. “What are you in here yapping Juliana’s ear off about?”

“Why don’t you go outside and read all of the cards people sent you, huh?” Rebecca asked.

“I’m going, I’m going. I know you just want to talk about me.” She winked at her sister before she went outside.

Rebecca snorted and shook her head. “Whoever ends up with that one sure has his work cut out for him. She’s still tight-lipped about the father?”

Juliana nodded.

“Hmph. I do hope she figures it out soon. The baby will be here in two months! I know she doesn’t want her to grow up without a daddy.”

# # #

Hillary waddled out to the gazebo where the festivities were just about to begin. Harold was already sitting out there sipping on a cool glass of lemonade. There was a table with gifts and cards mostly from people who couldn’t make it like her brother who thought it would be an estrogen fest. She had cousins, aunts, and uncles from out of town who sent their congratulations. She didn’t expect anything, but there was one box from her parents as well. She considered asking her mother to take whatever it was back for she had already done enough.

“Hey sugar pie.”

When she turned around, her mother was glowing. She hadn’t seen her look at her like that in a while.

“This is really nice, mama. Y’all didn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

Behind her mother’s glow was something else she couldn’t quite detect. Something foreign and unpleasant.

“Mama? Are you all right? You look–

Harriett waved whatever was going to come out of her mouth away. “Child, I am fine.” She changed the subject, probably to avoid further scrutiny. “Your sister and Juliana did all this.”

Changing the subject didn’t help. The wheels in Hillary’s brain were turning, trying to place Harriett’s flushed appearance with something familiar. It was Juliana. Harriett had been burning the candle at both ends trying to help Juliana prepare for the interview. She wasn’t a spring chicken any longer, and waking up early and going to bed late was getting to her. Perhaps it was time for a vacation.

“…You’ve been tired a lot lately, mama. You need to slow down. Get some rest. Let Kara run the library. She is the librarian.”

“And then do what? Stay at home and watch TV all day with your daddy? Ha!”

“Ain’t nuthin wrong with a little TV,” Harold said.

“A little TV is healthy. You are hypnotized sittin there all day and night!”

Harold grunted. Hillary laughed. She hadn’t heard them bicker like that in a while. Oddly enough, it was kind of refreshing.

“Anyway… What I was wanting to say,” Harriett continued, “I’m happy for you.”

A little bolt of lightning struck through Hillary’s body. “Y-you are?” Even though she had been her number one champion, she thought deep down inside Harriett was disappointed but just hadn’t said.

“Of course I am! I know I get on your case all the time, but I just want you to be prepared. That’s all! You know I wish it wouldn’t have come to this to get your life in order, but I think you’ll turn out to be a great mother.” Her mother rested her palms on her belly for the first time. “You and the little miss will be just fine. Ooooh I can’t wait to meet this little squeaker!”

She knew at some point in the day she would probably cry but wasn’t expecting the waterworks so early. “Thank you, mama. That means a lot.”

Harriett’s eyes were a little watery too. She walked away and joined Harold at the table. Rebecca must have sent everyone outside because the gazebo got crowded all at once.

“Dr. Still! You made it!” She was so happy her one guest showed up. Her co-workers couldn’t make it and threw their own little shower after work the previous week. “Mama, daddy, this is my counselor, Dr. Still!”

The doctor extended her hand to them. “Please, call me Christen. It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

“Likewise,” Harold said.

Hillary felt a little person tugging at her dress and turned around to address her youngest niece. “Yes, Mallory?”

“I wanna feel the baby too!”

“Watch out, Mal,” her sister said. “It might be contagious!” She hugged her tiny, bare waist as she laughed.

“You keep talking like that, Sloane,” Harriett yelled. “One of these days you’ll find yourself head over heels and married with enough children to form a baseball team!”

“Pssssh, whatevs, granny. I ain’t gettin married. And I definitely ain’t having no babies!”

Hillary remained silent. That was not the first bit of mockery she experienced from her niece. She had been increasingly more haughty ever since she first got the news. Sloane and Axel had similar feelings about it. It was like the three of them were part of some sinister secret society, but Hillary couldn’t handle the activities and dropped out or something. That made her a disappointment and an outcast. Sloane looked down on her and treated her like she was unintelligent. It hurt sometimes, but then again there were far worse things to be upset about in her life.

# # #

After a short bit of mingling, Rebecca allowed everyone to go eat. Her sons were eating together on the porch, and she joined them.

“Boys…did you go see Aunt Hillary and tell her how good she looks?”

“No,” they said with their mouths full.

“Make sure you do.” She took her plate inside to mingle with others.

She spent the rest of the night flitting about between groups of people making sure everyone was doing well and had everything they needed. She hadn’t thrown a big party like that in so long. She missed it. When she was in the living room, she saw Juliana sitting alone on the front porch and went out to see her.

“Are you all right, dear?”

“Yes. Just a little tired.”

“Oh yes, me too.” She sat next to her. “I’m quite ready to get rid of everyone.” She chuckled. “You could help me, you know…”

Juliana’s skewed eyebrows was her cue to let her in on her secret plan.

“Would you mind playing a little tune for everyone? Something slow and relaxing? Then everyone will be tired and will leave!”

Juliana joined her in the laughter. “I could do that.”

Rebecca patted her on the back, and they returned to the house. Juliana sat at the piano and Rebecca sat at the dining table with Dr. Still. Everyone else who was near gathered around the piano and listened to Juliana’s melodious lullaby. It appeared to work.