Joneses – 9.3 Tell Me How You Really Feel

(sigh)

“Awww… (sigh) … Mom…”

“Les…”

“Do you think I should get married?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“Do you love anyone?”

“No.”

“Then, no, I don’t think you should get married.”  She thought it was an odd question to come from her odd son. When she turned around, she found the situation to be even more odd. “Lester? Why are you watching the romance channel?”

He shrugged. “It was on.”

She was about to bust another move when she realized that was the perfect opportunity to speak with her son without a fight or someone walking away feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable in some way. However, she continued dancing as she spoke to him. It made her feel more comfortable. “Les?”

“What.”

“Tell me… What was your real problem with Matthias?”

He turned the TV off. “You really wanna know?”

“I do.”

He had been wanting to have this conversation with her for the longest time. It was a bit too late, but he still appreciated her ear. “Well, uhhhh, I guess it wasn’t really him I had the problem with…

“Sometimes I felt like you didn’t care about me.”

She gasped. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“Because! You were never around! I mean, it was bad enough that you worked nights, but then whenever you had off you went dancing all night! I felt like you only cared about yourself and left me here alone to fend for myself. So like, you’re never here, so I had NO idea you were dating anyone, and THEN I come home and find you in bed with some GRANDPA on top of you! EWWW!”

She was conflicted. On one hand, she was relieved they had finally got to the bottom of their issues. Living with him had been so difficult during his teen years. She had no idea why he was always so combative and sometimes cold toward her. It also relieved her that his problem wasn’t with her relationship. She wished she hadn’t taken so long to tell him. But, on the other hand, she was hurt. She felt like she failed him and was a terrible mother. When he needed her, she wasn’t around. He was right about her being selfish.

She took a moment before she made her reply. “I’m sorry, Les. I-I didn’t know! Do you still feel that way?”

“I dunno. I guess not. I mean, you’re around now, but… I guess it’s ok.”

“You know I love you, right?”

“Duh, you’re my mom.”

She often found herself laughing at the way his brain worked, but she was glad he didn’t doubt her love for him. “If I move into Matt’s house, will you come with me?”

“Heck yeah! That’s waaaaaay better than a plummy apartment in San Myshuno!”

“You were going to move out?” She felts pangs in her heart.

“Well, yeah. I can’t live in this tiny house with you forever. I need my own space. But in Matt’s house, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of space, heh.”

It amazed her that while he was a man now, she still saw glimpses of her funny little boy every now and then. That conversation put several tallies in the “reasons to move” box in her mind and hoped that it was the beginning of a brighter, less turbulent future with her son.