I Forgive You: Melody’s Letter

Melody thought about what River said all night and all day at work. She knew he was right. He always had a way of making her consider things she never knew was an issue. She had no idea how deep her fear of repeating the past was, and she felt terribly that it was affecting River. When she arrived at home, she asked her daughters not to disturb her for a while. She knew there was a high chance of her becoming emotional as she uncovered things she just learned she had hidden away all this time. She took a deep breath and let her fingers do the talking. Here is her email.

Dear Paxton,

I know you are probably very surprised to hear from me after all this time. I surprised myself by even considering reaching out to you. Before I get any further into this message, I just want to let you know up front that I am not looking for anything from you. I am over you, I have been over you, and I do not need or want any money. I also want to say up front that I do not blame you for everything. I am mature enough now to take ownership of the part I played in our failed relationship.

I am writing you because I want you to know that I forgive you. I was ruined for a long time. I couldn’t understand how you could just leave me like you did. The effects of abandonment lingered for many years, but I still forgive you. I forgive you for making me feel stupid and low and unworthy of love. I forgive you for not caring about me and our children. I think you only pretended to love me, but I forgive you for that too. This may sound strange to you, but it makes me happy to say now. Thank you for walking out on me! I’m not sure if our marriage could have stood the test of time anyway. But, if you had not left, I would not have found the courage to find my own way in life. I would not have had the opportunity to prove to myself that I could be responsible and mature. And not to mention, you gave me the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me. Motherhood was definitely not in my plan at the time, but it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I may regret my involvement with you, but I will never regret having my children. Yes, I said children. That wasn’t a typo before. I had identical twin girls–that’s why I was so big, if you remember. They are halfway through their teenage years now, and they are the kindest, sweetest, most well-mannered children I’ve ever known. Life would totally suck without them. I am in a very healthy relationship right now, and I am very excited about what the future may bring for us.

Finally, I want you to know that I do not wish you any ill will, although I think of you often when I’m boxing. I hope that you are safe, healthy, and doing well wherever you are. Take care of yourself.

Sincerely,
Melody

P.S. As far as my children go, if you want to be part of their lives, it’s fine by me. But if you don’t, that is fine as well. I am not pressuring you either way. I just wanted you to know who they are and that I would be open to the idea of you communicating with them. Their names are Mia Colleen Sheridan and Marli Cassandra Sheridan. I’ve included a few pictures of them so you can at least know what they look like.

Newborn pics. I have Mia and my sister has Marli.

Mia’s kindergarten school pic.

Marli’s kindergarten school pic.

Mia’s high school pic.

Marli’s high school pic.