Chapter 23: Uh Oh – Part III

One beautiful Saturday morning, all of the beautiful memories and milestones that occurred in the week all faded away in a matter of five minutes. It was about 8:30 when we had a knock on the door. I was the only one dressed at the time, so I went to see who it was. It was Mabel, and she looked PEEVED!

“Ummm…hi, Mabel. What brings you over?”

“You rotten bastard!”

“Whoa! What’s going on? Why are you so upset?”

“‘Cuz you’re a low-down, dirty scoundrel!”

“Mabel! What have I done to you?”

“I thought we meant something to each other! I thought we had something! I thought you loved me!”

“I did!  I…I do! But you know I’m married.”

“Why should I care if you’re married if you don’t?”

“Of course I care about my marriage! How could you say such a thing?”

“Remember that time I came over here unannounced, and you called yourself trying to ‘explain’ things to me and introduce me to your wife, and then you took me upstairs to ‘break up’ with me, but you never did? You weren’t acting like a happily married man then!”

I hung my head in shame. I had not forgotten. I just buried the memory of me woo hooing another woman in my marriage bed while my wife and family was at home shortly after our wedding day! Like I said previously, things did not go as I had planned that day. I did intend to take her upstairs to speak privately. I did intend to break up with her so I could continue life with my wife drama and guilt free. I had good intentions of everything! But like they say, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is week. Like I said, I never stopped loving Mabel. So, when she saw an opportunity to take advantage of my affections for her, I let her do it. Of course, I resisted as much as I could, but in the end I sinned.

“I…that never should have happened. I love my wife. I still haven’t forgiven myself for that.”

“Yeah, well whether it should or shouldn’t have happened, it did! I thought you were giving us another chance. You don’t woo hoo with someone and never call her again, Donovan!”

“Mabel, I get that you’re upset. I do! But how am I supposed to move forward with my new life if I still have you pulling me back? Is this who you want to be? Somebody’s mistress?”

“I wanted us! I want you! I don’t care how that has to work. I just want you!”

“I’m sorry, Mabel. It can’t work that way.”

“What if I told you that we had a son….”

I was speechless. I was prepared to deal with the consequences of telling my wife that I had been unfaithful to her. But how do I explain this? This is unforgivable! I’m going to lose her. I just know I am.

“A son? When did…we have a son??”

“Yes. You got me pregnant, I had the baby by myself, and I named him Thaddeus.”

“Oh my god….”

“Yeah…you’re busted, mister.”

“This can’t be happening!”

“It happened! I just thought you should know.”

“Is he…do you want–”

“I would love for you to be part of our lives, but you’ve made it very clear that we don’t matter to you, so you need to figure out what you’re going to do. Call me when you’re ready to man up.”

I didn’t know what to do with myself then, and I definitely didn’t have the courage to go inside and face everyone. Unfortunately, inside came to me.

“Baby! Are you ok? I heard you two yelling in the shower! What was that all about? Is she still mad that you broke up with her?”

“Kinda. I didn’t…I was supposed to…,” I said as my voice trailed off into tears.

“Donovan! What happened? Talk to me, please!”

“I can’t even look you in the eye!”

“Ok, Donnie, now you’re scaring me! Spit it out! What happened?”

“Well, you remember a while back when she came by and I hadn’t broken up with her yet?”

“Yeah, sure. You took her upstairs and talked everything out, right?”

“Not exactly.”

“Uhhh, what does ‘not exactly’ mean exactly?”

“Oh god,” I said as the courage to fess up fled from me. “I can’t do it!”

“Do what? Come on Donnie!”

“I…well, we…I took her in the room to talk, and we were alone and she kept flirting with me and putting her hands on me and I didn’t want to do it but I couldn’t help it and she was in my head and I didn’t mean it and I feel so ashamed and now there’s the baby…”

I was just rambling on and on about different details in all different orders, but I never intended to let the bit about the baby just randomly LEAK out of my mouth!

“NO! NO! NO NO NO NO NO!!! DONNIE! HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU?! OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?”

“I’m sorry!”

“Was I not enough for you? Or were you just playing games? Do you love her?”

“I umm…I mean, I don’t–”

“DO YOU LOVE HER??!!”

“Yes! I still have feelings for her.”

“Why you sick, twisted bastard! I believed you! I believed everything! Was anything real?”

“It was all real! I promise you it was all real! I love you, Adalyn!”

“And you love your precious little whore too! I feel soo STUPID right now!!”

“Adalyn, honey, I promise you…with all that is within me…I’ll even swear on our son’s life!”

“DON’T you even bring Aiden into this! Don’t you dare! He is innocent! Don’t poison him with your guilt. You want to step out on us? You go right on ahead. But you’re going to do it without me!”

“ADALYN, PLEASE! I’ll do anything you ask! I promise nothing like this will ever happen again. I swear it!”

“And why should I believe anything you have to say now? Huh??”

“I don’t know! Maybe you shouldn’t. I don’t know how to even begin showing you that my feelings for you are real! I don’t know how to fix this this! I wish with all my might that I could turn back the hands of time so I could have been a stronger man. I wish I could turn the clock even further so I could face her like a man when I knew I was serious about you, but I didn’t. I’m a coward and I’m weak! I can understand if you don’t want to be with someone like that. But I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Maybe not today, next week, or even next year. I know I screwed up and I hurt you and our family deeply. You don’t owe me anything! I just hope that one day you could forgive me.”