8.19 Tell Me How You Really Feel

Uh oh, Brady thought. This isn’t going to look good at all. Cora isn’t even here to see me! Oh well. That’ll teach her to throw me away!

Luckily for Brady, or maybe unluckily, Roland was right behind him and said he would get the door. Brady sat next to Cora while she waited for Owen to come down.

“Hey, sis! I didn’t know you were coming over today,” Roland said.

“I just wanted to see the baby,” Robyn said with a hint of discomfort in her voice.

“So, you’ve been working out I see,” Cora said to Brady.

“Oh yeah. I’m a personal trainer now. Give me a call if you ever want to workout.”

Owen finally came from downstairs and took Cora to the backyard to hang out. Brady joined Roland and Robyn on their couch…and sat right between them.

“Ummm…Brady, why don’t you take Robyn to the nursery and meet Anthony?”

“Me? He’s your son…I don’t want to impose–”

“I insist,” Roland interrupted. “I owe you one.”

“You do?”

“Trust me…I do.”

“Ok? Ummm, Robyn? Is this ok with you?”

“Sure. Why not!”

They got up and went to the nursery. Both of them were a bit apprehensive about being alone together. Brady had been doing everything he could think of to get her off his mind, and for the most part, it was working. He just wasn’t quite ready to see her yet, but of course with her being family, there was no getting rid of her. Robyn was still fighting her feelings for Brady as well, even though she made it pretty clear that it wasn’t going to work between them.

Brady picked Anthony up with such gentleness and care and held him close. He never shared this with anyone, but Brady wants to have a big, happy family. He had been wanting to have children ever since he became an adult. But, because he had been chasing rabbits with Robyn his whole life, it hasn’t happened yet.

“Heeeey, fella! You’re getting so big! I brought someone to see you! Say hi to Aunt Robyn. Say, ‘hi Auntie Robyn.'”

“Oh llamas! He is precious!”

“Do you want to hold him?”

“Yeah…no. Newborns make me nervous. They’re so small and…fragile.”

“What are you going to do when you have your own kids?”

“Who says I’m having kids?”

“Oh. I just thought–”

“We’re getting close to being middle age, Brady. I’m not sure if I even want to be bothered now.”

“I see. Well…I’m having them. I don’t care if I have to wait until I’m 90 years old!

“Yes, little Anthony,” Brady said, “I’m gonna get you some cousins! You may be grown by then, but you’ll have them.”

“So…hypothetically speaking…if you and I got together, we would have kids? Even though we’re both old?”

“Of course.”

“Hmmm…”

“‘Hmmm’ what?”

“Nothing. Just…thinking….”

“What if we scrapped your hypothetical situation, and actually had a baby? It could live here with me if you wouldn’t want to be bothered.”

“Whoa, what? Why would I allow my child to live here when I don’t even want to be around you?”

“Oh. So, now you don’t even want to be around me?”

“I’m sorry, Brady! That came out totally wrong. I didn’t mean it that way!”

“Whatever, Robyn! You know…I don’t know why I even keep torturing myself thinking that one day things will work out! YOU are the reason I haven’t met anyone yet! You’re the reason I don’t have kids!”

“Brady! I’m sorry! You know I didn’t mean that.”

“Do I? Do I really? We had a good thing going when we were kids. But then you heard I was insane, and you stopped coming around. I hadn’t even said anything crazy to you yet! You didn’t even have the decency to talk to me about it first or even come to see if it was true! You’re superficial! I was just too blinded by your pretty face to realize what that really meant.”

“I don’t know what else I can say to you, Brady.”

“You don’t have to say anything! You’ve said it all! You’ve been saying it all along! You know what? I’m finally listening to you!

“Why are you even here, Robyn?”

“I told you….I came to see my nephew.”

“Ever since I told you that I was seeing other people, you’ve been around here a lot more often. I admit that was pretty evil of me to say because I only said it to make you jealous. But, I don’t understand you. You say that it would never work, but you get jealous when I’m with other women. You can’t have it both ways! Either you want me, or you don’t! You’re in, or you’re out! You can’t keep coming around here trying to check up on me! If you’re miserable, I’m sorry. But stop trying to make me miserable too!”

Robyn couldn’t say anything. She knew everything he said was true. She thought she would be able to control him with the little games she played. But, the truth of the matter is, she was playing herself. She was still in love with him, but she wouldn’t let herself give in wholly to her feelings. And, now, Brady was rejecting her instead.

“You said you were here to see Anthony, and you’ve seen him. I think you should leave now.”