23.4 Ashamed

Ever since Kaiden began working, Asia enjoyed an empty house on her off days. Being a social butterfly, she expected to be bored and frustrated by the silence. But, after a week, she came to enjoy the solitude. It made her realize how crowded and loud her life was even though she wouldn’t trade it for anything. The best part about being home alone was heading down to the basement for movie marathons. She watched whatever she wanted without fighting over what to watch or hearing how dumb the kids thought her choice was. Quiet time in the basement was so needed.

Footsteps overhead startled her. The maid had already left hours ago. It had to be Kolby. Everyone else who had a key were away for the day.

“Mom?”

She breathed a sigh of relief even though she knew it was him. Her heart raced with excitement as she turned off the television and stood to receive him. “Kolby! How are you, my handsome maestro?”

“I’m good, I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m excellent now! Good heavens! Look at you! If you didn’t have a girlfriend, I’d ask if you had a hot date later.”

He blushed. “I could say the same about you.” His eyes traced her face. “What’s with the hair?”

She snorted. “Bangs cover wrinkles, my dear son.”

“Well, you look really pretty, mom.”

As if he just noticed, Kolby was startled by the door behind him. He looked askance and pointed at it. “Ummm … Did dad bring back some aliens or something?”

Asia threw her head back in laughter. “No! He built a room to store his collectibles and thought the door would look cool.”

“Oh,” he said, nodding and looking around. “It kinda throws off the vibe in here, though.”

“Right? That’s what I tried to tell him, but …” She shrugged. “It wasn’t worth arguing over. If you haven’t learned already, in relationships, you should pick your battles.”

The basement belonged to everyone, but Asia considered it her she shanty. The gym was down there. Though only a single sofa could fit, everyone seemed to enjoy gathering down there to watch TV. The space was so comfortable and intimate. She fashioned it that way. Every inch of the basement screamed Asia. There was no way she would let that door ruin her space, and she did her best to ignore it. She briefly considered walling off that half of the room, but that would make a statement she didn’t want to make.

“Come! Sit! What do you have for me today?”

He smiled nervously. “What?”

She looked askance too. “Kolby. I birthed you. You don’t think I know all your little patterns by now?”

“Patterns?”

She snickered and rolled her eyes. “Yes! The only time you come over unannounced is when you need to talk.”

“Really?” he said with a flushed face.

“Yes. We never see you anymore.”

“Oh.”

“It’s ok! You’re a grown man with your own life now. You don’t have to pretend you’re coming just to visit. I’m always onto you.”

He shook his head. “When will I learn I can’t get anything past you?”

She giggled. “At this stage? Never. So, what’s on your mind?”

“Well, Fernanda got a job.”

She gasped. “Good heavens! That’s wonderful, Kolby!”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is,” he said, avoiding eye contact.

An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach. “What … You don’t like her job?”

He shifted on the sofa and rubbed his palms on his khakis. “The job is great. She’s an intern at the space center.”

Asia’s eyes lit up like Winterfest. “I had no idea she was interested in astronomy. I wonder if Jared will see her sometime.”

“Probably not. Interns stay in the office area.”

“Kolby, why do I get the feeling there is more to this tale?”

“Because there is.”

The uneasy feeling spread through her heating body. “Good heavens, Kolby. You’re scaring me!”

His head fell into his chest, pushing out all the air in his lungs. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. When she got the job, I was so happy for her. I told her we should go out to eat to celebrate. Do you know what was the first thing she said to me?”

Asia swallowed a lump in her throat.

“She said, ‘do you think your mom will like me now?'”

Her stomach dropped. All the things she thought she kept to herself–or at least in pillow talk with Jared–were not hidden at all. Could everyone see? She felt so ashamed.

“Kolby, I–“

“Mom, listen. I don’t need to know why, or even hear an apology. But, I do need you to do better. I can understand if you feel like she’s not what you wanted for me, but I want her. Shouldn’t that be enough?”

Embarrassment kept her eyes closed. She couldn’t face him.

“I’ve been thinking about proposing, so she’s not going anywhere, Mom. She thinks you’re an amazing person and wants to be friends with you. I would really love it if you guys could get along.”

So many responses assaulted her brain at once. A pain in her stomach, like she had been punched, came on when the word “proposing” hit her ear. She felt ashamed for the disappointment she felt. But, was excited too. Kolby had only ever wanted to find real love. It was the only thing he wanted more than being a musician. Her son finally had the life he wanted, and she was happy for him. He was a good man, and she was so proud of him.

Kolby was right. She had been selfish and took it out on her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. None of this was about her, and now the young couple had been wounded by her actions. Thank the Watcher her son was so forgiving and only wanted to move forward. She still felt so ashamed.

“I’ll do better, Kolby. I promise I will. I’m so sorry!”

“I know you are.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

He chuckled. “Really, mom? If I came to you and said, ‘why don’t you like my girlfriend?’ you think you would have given me a real answer? I know you too!”

He was always so smart.

“But, still Kolby. Please don’t let me behave so childishly again. It’s not me.”

“I’ll do my best.”