9.85 Mommy Dearest

Juliette was happy with her decision to have a baby—even if her method was a bit unscrupulous. For the most part, motherhood excited her, and she was elated when she was near baby Mark.

Then there were times when she thought he was the most abhorrent creature on the planet. He never got the hang of sleeping through the night, and she was awakened several times a night throughout his babyhood. Despite her efforts to feed him and give him a fresh diaper before bed, he always soiled his diaper and woke up hungry at separate times during the night. Needless to say, she couldn’t wait for his birthday. Luckily, she was still working the evening shift, so she had time to make up the lost sleep during the day—if he was not screaming then too.

The baby days were the longest three days of her life. Even being pregnant seemed to fly by quicker. When his birthday finally arrived, she did not delay.

Mark Pruett

This cute little boy with his father’s—ummm, donor’s—eyes is evil! Karma is a beast, eh Juliette? Her moment of relief and rejoicing was short-lived.

“Why hello,” she said. “Aren’t you a handsome little devil.”

Choose your words wisely, dear.

“Let’s go, ma!”

“Huh? Where are we going?”

“We have to make plans,” Mark shouted.

“What plans,” she asked as her eye brow rose.

“Duh, ma! World domination,” he shouted mater-of-factly.

“…what?”

“There’s too much good in the world! Happiness is a ploy the government uses to infiltrate our lives, and they must be stopped. Everyone must be miserable!”

“Maybe breastfeeding was a bad idea. Did you have a nightmare or something? You’re just tired…go take a nap,” Juliette ordered.

“Naps are for babies and the feeble-minded! I have work to do! Are you going to help or not?”

“Look, kid, I don’t know what your deal is, but all this world domination crap and making people miserable is crazy talk! Don’t you wanna watch cartoons or something?”

“Cartoons are a tool they use to keep children oppressed!”

Juliette was tired, and Mark was very serious. It was gonna be tough to persuade him to believe otherwise. She had no idea what to do about him.

(sigh) An evil spawn. I actually have an evil spawn!